Uko wafasha umuntu wapfushije uwo bashakanye
Akenshi, incuti n’abavandimwe ntibaba bazi icyo bakora, mu gihe incuti yabo yashenguwe n’agahinda ko gupfusha uwo bashakanye. Muri iyi nkuru tugiye kureba uburyo wafasha uwapfushije uwo bashakanye akabasha guhangana n’igihe cy’akababaro aba arimo.
Kureka uwapfushije akerekana agahinda ke : Hari igihe abantu bihutira kubuza uwapfushije kurira nyamara burya si byiza. Hari umushakashatsi wagize icyo abaza abapfakazi 700, maze yandika ibyo yagezeho agira ati “nta gihe ‘ntarengwa’ abagize ibyago bagomba kumara bababaye.” Ku bw’ibyo, aho kugira ngo mugerageze kubuza uwapfushije kurira, mujye mumuha igihe gihagije cyo kugaragaza agahinda ke.
Ntimugatinye kugira icyo muvuga k’ uwapfuye : Uko igihe kigenda gihita, abapfakazi bashobora kwifuza kugira icyo bavuga ku wo bari barashakanye. Ese waba wibuka ikintu cyiza uwapfuye yakundaga gukora ? Haba se hari inkuru ishimishije umwibukiraho ?
Niba ubizi, byaba byiza ubibwiye uwapfushije. Ubwoba ntibukakubuze kubivuga. Niba utekereza ko bishobora kumushimisha, jya umubwira icyo wakundiraga uwo bari barashakanye, unamubwire ibintu bituma umukumbura. Kubigenza utyo bishobora gufasha uwapfushije kubona ko n’abandi bababajwe cyane n’urupfu rw’uwo bashakanye.
Jya wirinda kumuha inama nyinshi : Mu gihe ufasha umuntu ufite akababaro ko gupfusha uwo bashakanye, ujye wirinda kumuha inama nyinshi, kandi wirinde kumuhatira gufata imyanzuro huti huti. Ahubwo ujye ushishoza, maze wibaze uti “ni ibihe bintu byiza nakora, kugira ngo mfashe incuti cyangwa mwene wacu muri ibyo bihe bigoranye ?”
Kumufasha mu bintu bifatika : Iyo hashize iminsi mike umuntu apfushije uwo bashakanye, aba akeneye ko abandi bamufasha mu buryo bufatika. ushobora kumutegurira amafunguro, ukamufasha kwakira abashyitsi, cyangwa ukamarana na we igihe.
Nanone uzirikane ko abagabo n’abagore b’abapfakazi bihanganira agahinda n’irungu mu buryo butandukanye. Urugero : mu duce tumwe na tumwe tw’isi, abapfakazi b’abagabo barenze kimwe cya kabiri, bongera gushaka mu gihe kingana n’umwaka n’igice uwo bashakanye apfuye, ibyo abagore b’abapfakazi bakaba badakunze kubikora.
Kwibwiriza kumufasha : abantu benshi baba bifuza kugira ibintu byiza bakora, ariko ntibibwirize kubikora. Akenshi barakubwira bati ‘niba hari ikintu ukeneye ko ngufasha, ntutinye kukimbwira.’ Ariko iyo umuntu yibwirije urugero akavuga ati ‘ese ko ngiye guhaha, dushobora kujyana ?’ ibyo biramushimisha kurusha.
Kumuba hafi mu minsi yihariye : Hari iminsi umuntu wapfushije uwo bashakanye aba atorohewe kuko haba hari byinshi bimwibutsa uko yari abanye n’umukunzi we. Muri iyo minsi twavuga umunsi w’isabukuru y’ubukwe bwabo n’umunsi uwo bashakanye yapfiriyeho
Nubwo mu mizo ya mbere biba bitoroshye, amaherezo biba ngombwa ko umupfakazi asubira mu buzima busanzwe. Abapfakazi bagomba gushyira mu gaciro kugira ngo badaheranwa no kuririra nyakwigendera, maze bakibagirwa kwita ku byo baba bakeneye ngo basubire mu buzima busanzwe
Byakuwe mu gatabo “ Umunara w’umurinzi” (2010)