Inshingano z’umugore n’iz’umugabo mu rugo ni izihe ?

Yanditswe: 04-08-2014

Kimwe mu bibazo abubatse ingo bahura nabyo, ni uko muri ibi bihe ntawe ukimenya gutandukanya neza inshingano z’umugabo n’iz’umugore. Birasa n’ibyivanze.

Urugero ni nko guhahira urugo ; abenshi bemeza ko ari inshingano z’umugabo. Ariko se urebye uko biri ubu wabona ari byo ? Hari abagabo badakora abagore babo bakora bagatunga urugo.

Kurera abana umunsi ku wundi : Ibi byo murabizi ko byitwa iby’abadamu. Ariko se umudamu wiga masters akaza mu Rwanda rimwe mu mezi atandatu, abana be barerwa na nde niba umugabo adafashe izo nshingano ?

Kwibaza rero ngo inshingano z’umugabo ni izihe iz’umugore ni izihe ni ikibazo gisa n’icyoroshye nyamara ugasanga gikomeye, kuko buri wese yasubiza bitewe n’imyumvire, n’uburere afite.

N’ubwo ibintu byivanze birashoboka ko mu rugo bamenya neza inshingano za buri wese ariko bahereye kuri aya mahame :

  • Ku myemerere yabo (Urugero inshingano z’umugore w’umuKristo ziri muri bibiliya, ariko n’Abayisilamu bakagira amahame yabo ajyanye n’abagore)
  • Ku miterere ya société cyangwa imiryango babarizwamo
  • Ku cyo umwe ategereje kuri mugenzi we.

Uko njye mbibona muri ibi byose igifite imbaraga ni ukumenya neza icyo umwe ategereje ku wundi kuko ingo zidasa .

Birashoboka ko wasanga umugore arwana no gushakira umugabo imyenda yo kwambara ntagere mu gikoni kandi wenda icyo umugabo akeneye ari ukutarya ibyatetswe n’umukozi. Cyangwa agahera mu gikoni ashyashyana ategura amafunguro nyamara umugabo yifuza ko atuza bakaganira akamubwira ibyo yiriwemo akamugira inama. N’ubwo rero inshingano zigenda zigorana hari ibyo mbona umuntu yaha imbaraga niba ashaka ko urugo rwe ruba mu mahoro :

  • Banza wicare urebe neza inshingano zawe nk’umugore/ umugabo mu rugo, uhereye ku miterere y’umuryango wawe (Imyemerere, uburere, Société nyarwanda)
  • Igihe cyose ubonye uko uganira n’uwo mwubakanye ujye ugerageza kumenya ibyo akwifuzaho kurusha ibindi.
  • Igihe ufite abagufasha (Abakozi cyangwa abandi bantu bari iwawe) ntibikuraho inshingano zawe. Urugero : Niba abashyitsi basanze inzu isa nabi, ntabwo bavuga ko urwo rugo rufite abakozi babi, bavuga ko harimo umugore w’umunyamwanda !
  • Wite ku bana bawe, kuko nta muntu n’umwe wagusimbura imbere yabo, inshingano zindi zahinduka ariko izijyanye n’abana nta rindi hitamo ufite. Niba uri umubyeyi inshingano za kibyeyi ntizihindurwa n’igihe.

Icyo wakwitondera cyane

Muri byose ujye umenya ko priorité y’ubuzima ari urugo rwawe, kuzuza inshingano zo hanze ni byiza, mu kazi, mu nsengero, ariko ikiruta byose n’uko wuzuza izo mu rugo rwawe.

Igihe ufite akazi kenshi gatuma zimwe mu nshingano zawe utazuzuza neza, gerageza gushaka uburyo (Strategies) wakoresha kugira ngo uzuzuze wenda atari neza ariko ntihagire ikigucika.
(urugero : Niba uri umu mama , ukaba nta narimwe wuhagira abana bawe kubera nta mwanya ugira, fata byibura uwa gatandatu cyangwa ku cyumweru ujye ureba niba bakaraba neza, niba utabona umwanya wo gutanga amabwiriza y’ibyo bateka mu rugo, kora horaire y’icyumweru uyihe umukozi, byibura ube uzi icyo muri bufungure…..)

Nubwo bigoye kuzuza inshingano muri ibi bihe, cyangwa no kuzimenya, birashoboka cyane ko wabona uburyo butandukanye bwagufasha kugira controle y’ibyo ushinzwe n’ubwo byaba bikorwa n’abagufasha. Kandi tugomba gukora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo abo tubana mu ngo batuboneho ibyo badutegerejeho.

Icyo mbifuriza ni ukumenya neza inshingano za buri wese, n’Imana ikaduha ubwenge bwo kumenya uburyo twazuzuza muri ibi bihe bitoroshye ku ngo.

Mu rwego rwo kugira ngo twigishanye niba hari ubundi buryo wakoresheje(strategies) kugirango urusheho kuzuza inshingano z’urugo wazitumenyesha kugira ngo n’abandi bazazigireho. Watwandikira hasi y’iyi nyandiko kuri iyi website ahanditse Twandikire.

Yanditswe na Kunda T
photo : Internet

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