Ibintu bituma wibwira ko washatse nabi nuko wabyitwaramo
Nyuma yo gushyingiranwa abantu bamwe bibwira ko bahisemo nabi abo bashakanye bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye ariko ahanini ziterwa no kuba batakibanye neza. Ese koko wahisemo nabi nk’uko ubibona ? Ni iki se gituma utekereza ko wahisemo nabi ? Wakora iki se ngo ubuzima bukomeze kandi mu rukundo ?
Mu kiganiro twagiranye na Charlotte umujyanama w’ingo, aratubwira impamvu itera abashakanye kumva ko bahisemo nabi nyuma y’igihe gito babanye, n’icyo bakora ngo barenge ibyo kumva ko bahisemo nabi.
Reka tubanze turebe impamvu igutera kumva ko wahisemo nabi :
Gushaka kubera impamvu itariyo : Muri iyi minsi biragoye ko umugore cyangwa se umugabo yamara gushaka uwo bazabana ngo yumve ko koko ariwe yagenewe. Impamvu ya mbere iri kubitera ni uko ahanini abantu bari gukora ubukwe butateguwe.
Umukobwa yakumva atwite bagategura ubukwe hutihuti, akagenda yumva ko ajyanywe no kuba atwite, iyo ageze mu rugo rero, umugabo atangira kumubonamo ikibazo kuko atari yiteguye urugo ndetse no ku mugore nawe bikaba uko, ugasanga niho havutse kwa kwibaza ngo nahisemo nabi.
Mu gushaka kubera impamvu itariyo si ugutwita gusa, hazamo no kuba abantu bakora ubukwe kuko wumva ushaka umwana, kuko imyaka ikubanye myinshi, …. Ibyo byose iyo ushatse ariyo mpamvu yawe nyamukuru ugera mu rugo ugatangira kubona ko wibeshye.
Ubundi umuntu yari akwiye gukora ubukwe kuko ukunze uwo mugiye kubana nta yindi mpamvu yindi ibyihishe inyuma iri kubasunika gukora ubukwe budateguwe.
Kwirara :Igihe muba mukirambagizanya ntuba ushaka ko umukunzi wawe abona uruhande rwawe rubi, ukoresha uko ushoboye kose ngo abone ibyiza gusa. Iyo mugeze mu rugo rero ugatangira kumwiyereka wese atangira gutungurwa akibwira ko ahari atari wowe mwakundanaga.
Kwikunda : abantu benshi bajya gushaka abo bazabana bategereje ibyiza bazabona kubo bagiye kubana ariko nta kwibaza icyo bo bazaba bamushyiriye. Umukobwa ugiye gushyingirwa aba atekereza ati umugabo wanjye azanjya ansohokana, ariko we ugasanga nta gahunda n’imwe yigeze agira yo gutekereza ku buryo azamufata neza.
Kuba abashakanye buri wese aba ategereje icyo undi amukorera bituma we atareba ku nshingano ze agahora areba ku by’uwo bashakanye yari akwiye kumukorera.
Ubukene buba nyuma yo gushyingirwa : na none ku bakimara gushyingirwa hari ubwo usanga batarakoze neza gahunda y’ubukwe bakazibona bari mu bukene nyuma y’igihe gito babanye. Ibi nabyo bituma mwitana ba mwana umwe akumva ko undi ariwe utumye bakena.
Icyo wakora ngo uhangane no kwibwira ko wahisemo nabi :
Kuba wumva umutima ukubwira ko wahisemo nabi byashoboka ko atari nabyo ahubwo ukaba ubiterwa na zimwe mu mpamvu tumaze kubona haruguru.
Kugirango uhangane nabyo rero mukomeze no kubana neza kora ibi bikurikira :
• Menya ko abashakanye benshi banyura muri ibi bihe nyuma bakazabisohokamo neza
• Ihatire gushaka uko wabyitwaramo aho kumva ko ugomba guhindura uwo mwashakanye
• Jya uganira n’uwo mwashakanye ku byo umutekerezaho ariko ubikore witonze. Urugero niba hari ibyo yari yarakubeshye, wimubwira ngo ; “Uziko uri umubeshyi !" Ahubwo musabe ko muganira umubwire uti ; “ uziko buriya nta kuzi neza nshaka kukumenya neza kuko hari ibyo njya mbona ntagukekeraga”
• Ihatire kandi kureba ibyiza biri k’uwo mwashakanye kurusha kwibanda ku bibi.
Niba ubona gushinga urugo bitandukanye cyane n’ibyo wibwiraga ukumva umeze nk’umuntu waba ateze indege agiye kwishimisha mu mujyi wa New York, indege yahagara ugasanga imujugunye mu ishyamba nta bundi buryo ifite bwo kuhava, reba ko udashobora kuba uri kwibeshya cyangwa se ko bishobora kuba aribyo bikaba byaratewe n’impamvu twabonye, shaka umuti kuri wowe kurusha uko uwutega kuwo mwashakanye ukoresheje ingingo tumaze kubona.
Gracieuse Uwadata