Ibibazo by’amatsiko uzirinda kubaza umugore watandukanye n’umugabo
Iyo umugore yatandukanye n’umugabo hari ibikomere aba afite bituma hari ubwo umubaza ibibazo utatekerejeho bikarushaho kumukomeretsa. Nubwo abantu batamererwa kimwe nyuma yo gutandukana n’abo bashakanye hari ibibazo ahanini by’amatsiko abenshi banga urunuka, bakanga n’ umuntu ubibabaza :
Dore rero bimwe mu bibazo by’amatsiko uzirinda kumubaza ;
Ese kongera gukundana ntibikubangamira kubera abana ? : Icyo ni ikibazo nawe ubwawe uba uzi, utakwirirwa ubaza umugore watandukanye n’umugabo kuko biba ari ukumwibarishwaho. Kurambagizanya n’ubundi bisanzwe ari inzira itoroshye ariko noneho iyo hongeyeho ko wakomerekejwe mu rukundo, ukaba unafite abana ntabwo biba byoroheye umugore uri muri byo bihe. Ahubwo wamubwira uti ; ‘ Sinibwiraga ko hari umuntu wasubira mu rukundo nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwo bashakanye, ariko ndishimye kuba wowe ubishoboye.
Kubera iki mwatandukanye ? : ushobora kuba uri mu bihe bitakoroheye ukabona ko uri mu nzira zo gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye ariko ugashaka kugisha inama uwo byabayeho. Aho kumubaza rero icyatumye atandukana n’umugabo we ako kanya, banza umwinjize mu bibazo nawe urimo umubwire ko uri kwibaza ko bishobora kuzakugendekera aho guhita umubaza icyamutandukanije n’umugabo we ngo wumve niba bihuye n’ibyawe.
Ikindi kandi ugomba kumenya ko abantu badatandukanywa n’ikintu kimwe gusa kuko mu rugo baba bafitanye ibibazo byinshi.
Ninde wujuje impapuro zisaba gatanya ? : Kumenya uwujuje impamuro zisaba gatanya ntacyo biba biri bukumarire kandi n’uwo ubibaza ntacyo biba biri bumwungure usibye gusubira muri ya minsi akagira agahinda nkako yari afite igihe yatandukanaga n’umugabo we.
Uzongera gushaka ryari ? : Iyo umugore yatandukanye n’umugabo si byiza gukomeza kumubaza igihe azongera gushaka cyangwa se ngo ushake kumenya ubuzima bwe mu rukundo nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwo bari barashakanye. Mujye muganira bisanzwe nashaka ko umenya ibyo apanga azajya abikubwira cyangwa se akugishe inama ariko atari wowe biturutseho ngo ubimubaze.
Hari icyo bigutwara kuba nkiri inshuti n’uwahoze ari umugabo wawe ? : Iyo umugore yatandukanye n’umugabo we ntaba yifuza ko n’inshuti ze za hafi zakomeza kuba inshuti n’uwahoze ari umugabo we. Niba rero ubona umugore ariwe nshuti yawe ya hafi kurusha uko uri inshuti n’umugabo, mubaze ati : ‘ Ni gute ushaka ko ubucuti bwanjye n’uwahoze ari umugabo wawe bwakomeza ? Ibyo bizatuma akwerurira akubwire icyo abitekerezaho nawe uzabona uruhande wabogamiraho.
Ni gute ubasha kubana n’abana gusa nta mugabo ? : iki kibazo kirimo amakosa menshi kuko umugore urera abana wenyine ntaba ashaka ko umubwira ko akeneye umugabo kugirango abashe kubaho kuko aziko igihe ari wenyine nabwo ashobora kwibeshaho.
Ubuse ku bijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ubyitwaramo ute ? : Ushobora kuba ufite amatsiko ukibaza uko umugore watandukanye n’umugabo we abyitwaramo mu bijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko si byiza ko ubimubaza kuko biba ari ibanga rye. Keretse igihe ariwe ushatse kubikwibwirira igihe muri inshuti za hafi.
Ni byiza rero ko tumenya uko twitwara ku bantu bagize ibibazo byo gutandukana n’abo bashakanye kuko nubwo ushobora kuba ubona akwisanzuraho akaba yaramaze kwiyakira haba hakiri inkovu ku mutima we zishobora gutonekwa n’utubazo duto tw’amatsiko ahanini tuba tudafite n’icyo turi bukumarire cyangwa se ngo tukimarire uwo ubaza.
Gracieuse Uwadata