Important steps in a family life
Not taking care of important steps in a family life could guide to disaster:
Life requirement for couples are visible throughout different steps following the needs as it is demand to a person in his growing process from childhood to adulthood in different period. The step in which couples go through usually are:
• Engagement period
• Right after the weeding and before the first child
• Pregnancy and first born
• Child education
• Teenage education
• Marriage preparation of the kids
• After the children departure
For most couples, the engagement period and right after the weeding and before the first born are the nicest times. During these two periods, the household is quiet and pleasant.
After the wedding some couples face issues due to the lack of behaviour change according to their situation.
As an example one of the case often meet from women is that they tend to compare the engagement period with their actual status of married women and conclude that their husband have started to neglect them because they are not calling them as much as they used to, or take them out as many time as before, and more. Many women are then convinced that their spouses disliking them.
For men the most difficult time is often observed right after the first born, during this time their companion will take care of the child and spend more time with the child while the husband is thinking that he has been abandoned. Men will tend to believe that they have no value in the household and will go back to their old friends or drive themselves in to work according to their convictions that their spouses love the child more than them.
Time to time when growing up a child can cause troubles among parents. This is observable in the adolescence age where for example a young girl would ask for permission to her father and she will get it easily. The mother can argue with the father if she arrives later than what has been discussed previously. If looked closely, this kind of situation should not be a reason to arguments or drive a couple to separation taken in the actual context of the world evolution. Instead it is advice to adapt to the context they are living in.
WHAT TO DO:
Considering the previous steps it is important to take them in consideration and discuss about it with the person you share your life.
What a woman could do in such situations:
• A child should not be an excuse for a mother not to take care of her husband for example if you were used to look for his clothe you keep on doing so and if needed look for help
• It is good to continue sharing meals with your spouse. Did you know that there are women that spend three months in their rooms after giving birth and the husband eats by himself?
• Let your spouse see that you are making efforts even if you can’t accomplish all duties due to the child care, but avoid that he thinks that you have abandon him for good. It is good that before asking your partner to change you conduct you self well.
What man can do in such period:
• A child is always a blessing. You should not consider that you are abandoned. It will be much appreciated if you could help your spouse in the difficult time and take care of the child.
• It is necessary to take some time and share moments with the child and mother instead of reading newspapers, or looking for friends to visit. Participate in the daily care of the baby by helping with bathing, changing, putting him or her to sleep and more.
Kunda T