Uburyo bwiza bwo kwanga gutera akabariro n’uwo mwashakanye
Gutera akabariro ni kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi abashakanye bakenera ndetse bikanagira uruhare mu gutuma urugo rukomera cyangwa se bikaba byanarusenya igihe bidakorwa mu buryo bwiza.Kuba umwe mu bashakanye atari mu bihe byiza byo gutera akabariro bitewe n’uburwayi, umunaniro, imihango n’ibindi bishobora kuba impamvu yo kumva ko adashaka gutera akabariro na mugenzi we mu gihe undi we abyifuza. Kugirango rero uwo ubyifuza utamukomeretsa hari uburyo bwiza uba ugomba kumuhakaniramo.
Mu kiganiro kirambuye twagiranye na Charlotte, umujyanama w’ingo yavuze ko mu bantu benshi yakira bafitanye ibibazo n’abo bashakanye mu gutera akabariro harimo nabo usanga bahangayikishijwe n’uburyo abagore babo babangira ko batera akabariro bigatuma batangira kubunza imitima bibaza impamvu itera abagore babo kubahakanira.
Charlotte avuga ko cyane cyane abagabo bakomeretswa cyane no kumva bifuza kuryamana n’abagore babo ariko bo ntibabyemere. Niho uzasanga hari abatabasha kubyihanganira bagafata abagore babo ku ngufu. “ njya nakira abagore nabo bavuga ko abagabo babakoresha imibonano ku ngufu kandi barashyingiranywe”
Reka tubanze turebe ingaruka zo guhakana nabi ko mutera akabariro :
Twabonye ko umwe mu bashakanye ashobora kuba afite impamvu zumvikana zamutera kumva adashaka gutera akabariro n’uwo bashyingiranywe, nyamara iyo bikozwe nabi bigira ingaruka haba k’uwuhakaniwe ndetse n’uhakanye :
- • Kumva utamukunda
- • Kumva ko umusuzugura
- • Gutangira gutekereza ko ushobora kuba wifitiye abandi bakwitaho
- • Kukurakarira mukabitonganira cyane
- • Gushyira urukundo rwanyu mu kaga ( kumuha umwanya wo kuguca inyuma,..) n’ibindi
Birashoboka ko ufite impamvu igutera guhakanira uwo mwashakanye igihe yifuje ko mutera akababariro nubwo, guhakana atari byiza ndetse ari nawo mwanzuro ugomba gufata uziko ufite ingaruka ugomba nabyo kubikora mu buryo bwiza butari bugire icyo butwara imibanire yanyu.
Dore uko wabikora :
Kumbwirana umutima mwiza : Niba uwo mwashakanye agusabye ko mutera akabariro ntukumve ko we ari mu bihe nk’ibyo urimo ngo abe yakwiyumvisha ububare, cyangwa se umunaniro ufite. Hari ubwo rero abantu bibwira ko abandi bantu bameze nkuko nabo biyumva bigatuma uhita umusubiza nabi kuko wumva ko adaha agaciro ububabare ufite, umunanaro cyangwa se indi mpamvu ituma wumva utameze neza.
Kumubwira igihe wumva uzaba umeze neza : Aho kumuhakanira burundu, ugashyiraho akadomo, mubwire uti rwose mugabo nkunda cyangwa se mugore nkunda ubu ntabwo meze neza ariko uretse nkabanza gufata icyayi bishobora kugenda neza, cyangwa se ejo mu gitondo naruhutse nta kibazo
Gerageza kwishakamo ubushake : Ntukitwaze ko wumva utameze neza ngo uhakanire uwo mwashakanye buri uko yifuje ko mutera akabariro. Ugerageza kwishakamo ubushake ku buryop wumva nawe ugeze ku rwego rwo kuvuga ko ntako utagize kandi nawe akabibona ko utamutereranye.
Gukora gahunda yo gutera akabariro ; ku bantu basanzwe bafite gahunda y’iminsi batereraho akabariro nubwo bitababuza no gukora imibonanop itunguranye ( itari kuri gahunda) biroroshye ko mu gihe umwe atameze neza ahakanira mugenzi we hakiri kare.
Urugero niba usanzwe woherereza ubutumwa uwo mwashakanye ku munsi washyizeho wo gutera akabariro kugirango mutangire kwitegura hakiri kare, uwo munsi uzumva utameze neza noneho uzamwoherereza ubutumwa cyangwa se akigera mu rugo mutashye uhite umubwir ako wumva utameze neza kubera impamvu runaka ufite ariko nabwo ubimubwize ijwi rituje ririmo urukundo nkuko twabibonye haruguru.
Ntukavuge yego kugirango umwikize : Na none kuvuga yego kugirango wikize uwo mwashakanye ntabwo ari byiza. Ariko na none niba inshuro uvugamo oya arizo nyinshi kurusha izo uvuga yego ufite ikindi kibazo mu mibanire yanyu kigomba gukemuka.
Kugeraranya ibyifuzo byanyu mwembi ; Urugero niba ushaka gusinzira unaniwe uwo mwashakanye akaba ashaka ko mubanza gutera akabariro gereranya ibyo byifuzo byombi urebe ikiremereye. Uramutse usanze kumuha igihe gito mukabanza kubahiriza inshingano z’abashakanye byagushobokera kandi ukaza no kuruhuka nyuma wafata umwanzuro wo kubanza gukemura ikibazo kihutirwa.
Ibibazo byose biterwa no kutumvikana hagati y’abashakanye byaba mu gutera akabariro cyangwa se ukundi kutumvikana biterwa no kutaganira bihagije. Muramutse muganira bihagije ntabwo wagira bwo kuvuga oya mu gihe wumva ufite impamvu ifatika kandi na none ntiwavuga yego igihe bitakurimo.
Gracieuse Uwadata